Silly Grins

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Sex Life

Sex Life as Oxymoron

Whoever coined the term had a wicked sense of humor, didn’t they?

Whoever declared that it was all about Venus and Mars, despite good intentions, didn’t really solve the puzzle. Whatever happened to the rest, you know, family (if you need help on this one - read definition #7)?

About solving that puzzle, perhaps no one ever will.  But that’s not what this post is about. This post is about looking at the pieces, some shattered, others shredded…all those pieces that are not conveniently wrapped and shipped to your doorstep. Not an easy or enviable task. The phrase, "No pain, no gain" comes to mind.

No, this is about going though some shit (or stuff depending on who it belongs to). Either way, it takes a strong stomach. 

Loco didn’t want to go there (in his wisdom, he said so in his comment-response). That's right. He didn’t want to go there. And bless him, he doesn’t have to. Hopefully not ever. Nothing but respect for that man.

RinKat took a peek and commented on how that was one of the most depressing things she had “ever” seen (I think). I say with the utmost respect, coming from her, for her to make that observation, says a hell of a lot. Anyone who can survive and thrive in her world has got to know about life.

Corinne? As promised, here it is.

But before anyone clicks without thinking, you’ll need to “brace yourself” because it is dark and ugly. At the same time, it is very beautiful. But any thoughts or memories about beauty need to be put to bed for a while. And I’m not about to quote Dante, because there is hope… if you are patient. 

In 2006-ish, an article was posted “Sexless Japan – Really?”

The article was so powerful that over the life of the post, which is still there (don’t look it up…we’ll go there is just a minute), the responses are now over seven-hundred. Yes, over 700.

Contents of those comments are very raw.  If you want to jump, it’s okay, there is what I call a metaphorical bungee cord. Just because I endeavor to be an honest person does not mean that I am a cruel person. 

Quite frankly, considering the amount of envy the kryptonite-carrying that the arch nemeses of Charisma Men carry… ladies (and wymyn), you have no need to carry around all of that baggage…really. I'm not trying to be polite or chauvinistic either. You may even find yourself laughing while you read. Laugh. Laugh hard, till you are teary-eyed. (Because you’ll need it.)

Now I’m going to say something that is not very polite. But it is something that does appear to be true…if you just look at the numbers.  Yes, there are actually numbers, but not big ones.  One number is around 15, a number on a survey (explained later...if I get around to it). Satisfied?

Okay. Raw truth is…this article applies to virtually everyone I’ve met in this country, family included.

A recommended approach to reading what is on the other end of the link is to follow Plan A or Plan B.  

(The article does have a useful color-chart. Wonder what color you fall into? Want to know how you compare to the data collected?)

PLAN A: Read the original article from top to bottom. Then go to Comment 14. Read it. Does it touch a nerve? Does it make you want to call this 'bullshit'? Either way, you might want to go back and start reading through the comments from top to bottom…all the way to the bottom.  (If you get there, I can throw down a rope for those who want to climb back out. Unless, of course, you can manage on your own.)

PLAN B: Jump straight to Comment 14, to test the waters, so to speak. If it’s too uncomfortable, get out. And run. Don’t look back. Double-plus good, SEP. Otherwise, if you start to recognize any of this, go ahead and read the article and the comments. All the way down.

Virtually all of the questions raised in the comments were eventually answered… that’s the rope, which isn’t going to be thrown down for a few days, not until I’ve got feedback. 

Are you sure you want to actually jump into the abyss?

 (404'd:Look down. Seriously. 
The link 
has been pasted
just below
                                         Corinne's comment)                                        




  1. I wanna jump!!!!!!

    But the link doesn't work... Is it me?? I'm too curious not to read this!!

    Your writing is cool, it confuses me and actually makes me read it again and absorb rather than scan.

  2. Not working here either. Here's the URL link:

  3. I'm with the #14 but wonder if he hasn't already jumped in but is worried about judgement?

    Doesn't sound like a bad plan if he's smart and doesn't fuck up his or another married ladies life.

  4. Yeah I remember drowning in that cesspool of racism, ignorance and hilarity back in the days. Almost went for another dip just now but, nah, last thing I need is fodder for the furnace in me lol. Nice post Will! agree with Corinne, you have an unusual style of writing, almost cryptic but not in a way that makes the reader feel this guy is off the deep end but rather in a way that makes the reader feel like "I want to be in this club!"
    I have to admit though I think this is my first time here but I'll definitely be back and see what's what in reptiles and sameurai land!
    And thanks for the shout! And the great comments at LIY

  5. I don't get what is meant to be offensive about this?

  6. Yeah, that was really depressing to read. Just skimmed through it again, man! I think it was the deep deep sadness from some of the commenters.

    I've known a lot of men who didn't like their wives, wouldn't divorce them, and had girlfriends and came to hostess clubs. BUT, I didn't know about this deep heavy sadness that was behind it all, until I read that comment thread.

  7. Chris: Judgment is something I have learned to live without,for the most part, because it frees me up to observe the things I would otherwise ignore. As for #14 just seemed like a good place to start. (Maybe I should read that again) In my life, family is first. Because, in my life, when I was growing up (perhaps a little too fast for some) I was kind of the extra baggage that came along with the deal.

    Loco: Everything written here was inspired by your Loco in Yokohama; it's all related. Deeply (Except for motivation...that was originally written in 2008 as a way of keeping it together, or at least trying) I don't chase racism and this isn't about jumping into any cesspools, despite my foul reference. This jump is simply an attempt to look at the human relationships. I'm with Rollins (Henry) on the racism (as well as the music) deal. This just delves into the truth. (I'll try to find the post where you and Chris discuss music...and tag it with something Henry said. Think you both would like that. I'm up earl again this morning and have some time...)

    Kathrynoh: Nothing is meant to offend. It's all information. The sadness and pain is familiar one point in my experience here, I really began to understand how a person might be willing to pay just to have someone to talk to and someone who would laugh at their jokes. But when that elevator called 'Life' starts to bring you down, just turn up the music and go crazy, right? (Some people do find pointing out the truth a bit offensive, at least that has been my experience...)

    Saboten: Thank you for visiting again. Though sadness is part of life, it is not something we need to let ourselves get stuck in. Sadness is also something that can really mess us up if we don't let ourselves feel it. When we do that, it can be corrosive, in my opinion. In a way, knowing what is behind it all kind of exposes how easily people can be manipulated when you know them better than they know themselves. People make choices. Sadness can also help people chose a more constructive approach too. Those are the people who tend to be amazing.

    Thank you all for your responses. A week from now, more or less, I will be throwing down that rope, hopefully explaining the 15 as well as commenting on the final article.

  8. Wow, very interesting, but nothing shocking for any of living in Japan right.

    The 14th comment is refreshingly honest and I tend to agree...

    Thanks for this Will!!

  9. An ice-cold bucket of brutal honesty is much more refreshing that a polite cup of lukewarm lies. The old news is no longer shocking for those of us who are alive and living here despite it all.

  10. You're with Henry Rollins? I'm with you then! Haven't heard his name in a loooong time...

  11. Rollins...yes. Never really understood enough (and was a little bit afraid to listen to him) only until recently. He looks at the ugly, talks about what so many people seem to shy away from...afraid to go nowhere. I was a little too young to feel comfortable buying any Black Flag albums without feeling like a 'poser' - so I stuck with Ramones. Only recently, via Youtube, did I discover the genius of Rollins.

    When Loco made a post about music a while back, he was quite critical of all this newer stuff we see, Chris responded with something (can't quite recall) where Tupac was brought up. Just then, my image of rap, the universe and everything expanded by a galaxy or two. If I can ever find that page again on Loco in Yokohama, I would like to put a video link to Youtube's "Henry Rollins on rave and modern rock music." During Henry's glorious rant, the camera pans to the audience...they are laughing, but a few almost look scared.
    Hello, Generic Jen B, welcome to my blog.

  12. Damn! Just went here...and saw Tupac...
    Four minutes of my life not wasted...the only thing I don't agree with in terms of following what he the part about fame and fortune (as it applies to me).

  13. ok, now we are treading a territory that...

    I remember the original post. There is some Beauty, and some Beast to be found there. Both to be taken in small doses, to maintain sanity.

  14. Small doses...moderation...will have to keep that in mind...for next time. Thanks.