Barium Meals: Spies and Housewives
Wifey went in a few days ago
for a semiannual-ish checkup. And, par for the course, swallowed some chalky liquid to chase the fizzy stuff before stepping up onto what looked like a um... viewing wall. This wall was connected to
some kind of joystick that allowed for a ‘technician’ to actuate his subject to
varying degrees. Not much to do but sort of lie there and hang on while trying
not to burp.
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| A cold, hard table. |
During the procedure, the
subject was told to turn right, turn left, and face forward. This was all in order for the technician to get a
better view of the radiocontrast agent imbibed while looking for irregularities on the gastrointestinal
lining.
Still with me so far? Okay, this is where it got a little
interesting.
Wifey was chatting with the
radiologist/joystick man, an older, matter-of-fact fellow. After her session, she apologized for
being a little confused when she was asked to turn left and right. She thought her response time was a little slow.
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| Communication and Control with Plessart |
Old Man Tech said not to
worry, that her reflexes were normal. Basically what is expected from the general population. And then he went on to mention that when the
JSDF sends their boys, men, and occasionally a women or two over for their annual checkups. Those dogs are snap-to-it
fast when when given commands. Maybe there is something to be said for their obedience training.
From here *
“On a normal day, we can expect to get through twenty regular folks per hour. Now, with the soldiers, we can run about thirty of those guys through here in the same amount of time. They are really responsive when it comes to turning left, turning right, and facing forward. Not at all like the police; they are slow.”
When Wifey was pressed for clarification about what Uncle Joystick had meant, she said that it wasn't clear who the popo were being compared to. Either way, I got the impression that the boys in blue were described as being a bit thick, meant in a good way... for everyone.
(Barium Meals is a prelude to Sweet and Sour, third on the list of Dr. Mercy stories, found in the The Universe)
Ahhh.... The police are always the brunt of fat and slow jokes. I'm surprised Sting never gets upset at all the jokes over the years.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, I could really go for some bacon sometime soon. I haven't had it in FOREVER!!! By forever I mean last week.
The Police and the police... Sting sold out in a bad way, assuming he was ever about anything other than himself. Still, I like their songs. As for the police, apparently they've got a bit of a reputation for being slow when put against the wall.
DeleteNow bacon... took a minute to understand. Bacon forever.
The police being slow is nothing new to us here in the land of angels and make believe. I think the average response time is 20+ minutes. Not too big of a deal since I would have bled out from a gsw before anybody gets there. :-p
DeleteThat's useful information. I've never lived in a place where it took so long. Small towns. Mostly. Not saying I'm scared of LA...really.
DeleteFunny to read an article about barium meals when I prompted my sister to go to the doc because she was stopped up. She is seeing the doc, I assume since she complains about irregularity they may send her to get looked at. Also, while sick with the cold this weekend, I have Police Acedemy 1, 2 and 3 on dvd as my brain fluff movies to watch when ill. Something soothing about Bobcat's screechy voice maybe?
ReplyDeleteBarium seems all the rage here. Something about a relatively high rate of stomach cancer that I've heard doctors swear is a thing of the past. Still folks like to put their salt on everything,"'cause it is healthy and human beings need salt". A thing of the past... yeah, right.
DeletePolice Academy has caused mixed feeling about getting near podiums.
Wonder if there's a Blue Oyster equivalent in Shinjuku 2-chome...
ReplyDeleteProbably Raw...yes, Like Sushi. Sometimes the truth is just too funny to have been made up.
DeleteYou wouldn't think the response times would make that much difference. But I actually have issues with left and right!
ReplyDeleteAre you saying that you are not an ambi-turner... that maybe you can't turn left? (See Zoolander)
DeleteDay upon day, hour after hour... noticing every little difference is probably really exciting. Breaks. The. T...e...d...i...u...m.