Silly Grins

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

"Who the f*ck are you?"



“For the people who are interested in what I happen to be doing, rarely does anyone express interest in who I may be, which is not really the point anyway. This might take a minute...look...” 


“So, what is the point?”

“The point is that none of this is systematic. No, none of this is systematic in a sophisticated sense of the word. There is nothing coercive going on - nothing deliberate along the following lines:

  • The number of choices do not lead to the same conclusion

  • Ideas and phrases are rarely repeated

  • Information is not provided in a manner designed to dampen intelligence

  • Anger and fear are not used to put a person in a heightened state

It's important to be able to see the forest from the trees... so we are not being taken down one of two vary narrow paths at all.”


“We end up having discussions while walking outside in daylight. The key here being an activity… an activity… any activity that requires constant and steady motion without it becoming hyp…not…ic…”

“I... see.”

“Urban areas are often too ‘busy’ for this type of exchange. There is simply too much going on that could emerge and suddenly pose a risk. In such an environment, the stress of continuous shifting of focus on what is near and far is too great; simultaneously pushing and pulling a person’s attention, the oscillation tends to distort the message(s).

“So, now that we are walking along this open path, what is on your mind?”

“What’s on my mind? What’s on my mind is how we edit our realities. We edit our realities without thinking about it… without thinking about it to the point where we don’t see the possibilities. That is what's on my mind.”


“I suspect that we’ve effectively 'reformed our thoughts' to the point where it takes something akin to a near-death experience to ‘wake up’. And that state of being awake only lasts for so long.” 





Top Animated Gif


Hypnotic Spiral Gif


Still Photo


A Good Photographer

Pocket Watch


Parabolic Mic


The Last Thing You Remember

Is Feeling 

P e a c f u l 


R e l a x e d  



  1. Several weeks ago Billy recommended The Master. I couldn't get into it in terms of the plot. The characters were portrayed well I think... I can't say it was necessarily a bad movie though I didn't care for it. I think any movie that provokes thought is at least worthy of discussion.

    That movie got me to thinking about Pavlovian conditioning, cult thinking and mind control. I had a therapist that used to enjoy 'guided meditation' after a few sessions I decided money was being wasted on something I could already do on my own. I didn't need someone to 'suggest' how I should feel, when I could do that on my own. Some people latch on to suggestion almost too easily.

    Oh the little worker drones.

    1. Had forgotten about that movie the steady roller recommended. Haven't seen it yet, but I was fascinated by the back story, what the movie is loosely based on, which provokes a lot of thought.

      Mental conditioning, it has taken a lot of time for me to untangle mine - a continuous process. Simply being aware that it is done and knowing a little bit of the 'how' has been helpful. Michael Chriton mentioned something about how he noticed that, in order to keep a subject talking, the therapist would simply repeat one of the last lines of what he'd heard - not that the therapist was actually listening. Essentially, if I understand correctly, the way the counseling sessions were conducted functioned like a gimmick, trick, or whatever. Which kind of relates to you observations on suggestions with regard to conditioning. Which functions in a way that does not encourage people to be conscious of the decisions they are making.

      The way it works in Japan often makes me wonder. Of course, viewed through the lens of a permanent 'outsider' makes some things appear more obvious than they would for someone brought up through the system.

      Now, if you'll excuse me, time to get back to the hive...

    2. Another great one to make you feel at ease and as though you are engaged in active conversation is by following up immediately with a question.

      I baits the 'patient' into continuing on without having to actually put in the hard work or exchanging in an active conversation.

      This brings me back to high school when I had a therapist that would click her tongue when she was deep in thought. Closer to the end of my sessions I told her she may want to work on hiding that. Though I knew her tongue click meant she was thinking of a response because her quick canned answers wouldn't work, others may not have caught that. She was shocked that I caught it and thankful for bringing attention to it.

      I should have charged her.

    3. Yes. 'Thankful for bringing attention to it.'

      What were you saying?


      My first high school therapist had a breakdown, though I didn't realize that's what it was called at the time. I wasn't mean to her in her weakened state. I just listened. Shortly after that last session, I believe she quit.

      I saw her, by chance, two years later. I was a junior at the time. The senior valedictorian had asked me to the Winter Formal. When we went to her apartment, that's when I met her former 'counselor'.

      My counselor, as it turns out, had had good reason to lose it. Her 'partner' of eight years had died. So I learned from daughter.

      My next counselor, I had to share with a group. As it turns out, the group was for potheads with relatively high G.P.A.s who'd been busted by their parents. That counselor talked about his intermittent depression which he dealt with by getting really loaded and 'just fucking' his girlfriend for days at a time.

      Good times.

    4. @_@ oh wow, small world eh.

      Your group sounds similar to my group... high intelligence, mostly pot heads... all "classified" as severely emotionally disturbed. The name of the class was 'Center for Therapeutic Education'... class still exists. I see the teacher from time to time still, he confessed that he doesn't know how much more he has left in him. He has been dealing with SED kids for 17 years and he says it's starting to wear thin on him. Sad really, he was so awesome when he first started with my class.

      He did his fair share of participating in group therapy... coke habits, working as an actor in soaps and a movie... I think he has matured beyond that and is pretty much clamped up tighter than a ducks butt.

    5. Being disturbed is a healthy response to an environments that is not conducive to open-minded thinking; we could all see that there were things that weren't quite right. Our schooling hadn't given us the tools to deal with our environment, so we sought them out. Another alternative would have been to put up mental blinders. The kids from less supportive homes, when caught exploring the world we live in through experimentation with universal laws... they got threatened with confinement of the cage.

      Beneath the numbness, I was starting to crack and needed somewhere to go. Our therapist asked me why I was there, expecting to hear a pot problem; I didn't have one. I was there because I needed some kind of free space. Which is one reason I ended up practically living at school until I got booted from my house for, ironically enough, obedience. I never knew I had a choice to leave, but I did choose to obey the order that was given to do so. Threatened with humiliation through a beating in front of my peers for being seen as not having the right attitude, my response was that I would not stop him. It wasn't a challenge. It was agreement to the conditions and total acceptance. That's the way things worked. After having been reminded of a warning or promise that had been given the previous year, all he said was, "Go. I told you once... you know what I mean". And, out of respect, I obeyed. Within a matter of hours, I was pretty much cleared out before he even got home.

      Your SED teacher... I don't know what I would do after almost two decades of issues. I bet he's got some wisdom to share. Even it isn't all rainbows and unicorns, there are productive alternatives for the kids. I'm just lucky I had the support of teachers and community. People like your SED teacher do make a difference just for being real.

      Yeah. Worlds can be small.

  2. The best thing about diving the deepest is you can go down further than anyone. The bad thing is nobody is there to see it. Take pride in going deeper than most and all around you but remember that when you're down're all alone. Great place for thinking....terrible place to communicate.

    I had to write "when you see'll shit bricks " under a pic that nobody apparently really looked at. Not an embedded message but one right fucking there with a message below screaming for folks to look and they all..ALL missed it again.

    Fuck it.

    Fuuuuuuck iiiiit!!

    1. Down deep and alone. Thinking requires space I've only recently given myself, and I kind of like being able to piece my reality back together and do something rather than just kind of float along with whichever way the current happens to be flowing.

      Not sure if I was late to view the post or just 'missed it' like everyone else. Either way, communication - unfortunately most people are so into their own stuff that they don't really see what's right in front of them with the caption, "when you see it..." oh, what were you saying?

      Last December was not a good month, not for me anyway. No not a good December last year.

      If there is a next time, I sure as hell hope I'm paying attention. No that shitting bricks is anything to look forward to (women have children all the time, so how bad could it be?).

  3. They were all over 21 at the moment and she liked the bear as much as Santa and the kids. I had never ever noticed it was in the pic until years later. Life is a put it lightly.

    1. The things we never noticed or knew till years later...reminds me of a scoutmaster and his assistant. Only a year or so ago, I actually spoke with a friend I'd made at that time. He said, "Yeah, it wasn't you. Those guys, they were put in charge as part of a rehab project." Apparently, the two adults 'in charge' were recovering alcoholics. At least no one got set on fire during the outdoor excursions. Or left tied to a tree for more than a day. We were only lads.