Silly Grins

Friday, June 15, 2012

A Little More Truth to the Comedy

They say there's a backstory to every joke. And sometimes, the truth is just too much for people to handle, so there are things that get taken out. Even some of the classics that have become canonized wisdom for the street-wisdom that gets passed along.... there's even more to some of the classics than may ever get told.

Put on your boots and take a breath 'cause it's gonna get deep. 

 This is a bull.
And if you look closely, you might be able to see it's...

 a Guernsey.

Understanding what's going on, how things work, and one's limitations are important in this life. So they say. 

Wait... not yet... 


Just as the baby bull is all excited, getting ready to stand up, on account of starting to feel a little uncomfortable with all the pressure building up down there... and seeing how he's not yet standing... 

Just as Baby-bull is thinking about standing up and getting ready to walk, not run but walk, walk down from the top of that sweet grassy knoll... out of the blue comes what sounds like some kind of long and low primal bellow echoing up from behind where the two G-Bulls are sitting. 

Baby-bull is a little confused, as well as being a little excited... Baby-bull is a little confused as a few of the finest cows down in that meadow rise to that call and gather in a circle of absolutely prime and fine bovine. It was like they just knew something was about to happen. 

But what?

Papa-bull gives a knowing grin, "Hang on son, you might want to get another bite before we walk on down." Papa-B lowers his head and starts to chew on just a little bit more grass. "Mmmm... mighty sweet."

Up from behind Papa and Baby come the sound of steady-paced hooves. Not running. But not walking either.

Without breaking stride, the biggest and the baddest looking kind of bull Baby has ever seen before... that Big Bull heads straight toward the fine collection of cows who are waiting. Hot breath-ed, steaming wet, and screaming-ready.

Before Baby-bull's eyes, a scene unfolds where there is rutting of a nature unfit for most imaginations. No use in trying to go into the details here (don't want to get banned from the Net, not yet anyway).

Those cows that had gathered when they heard that call... well, they were laying here and there without no care. Not no care beyond them pearly gates. In herd-heaven and in no hurry to come back. Yep. Twitching with heavenly ex-tuh-cee. Not the kind they'd ever had before. And not the kind the would ever forget.

Before Baby-bull could start to understand what had happened, the Big Bull was gone. Headed off somewhere off into the horizon. Just headed off at that steady pace. Just like he come in. Not walking. And not running either.

"Hey, Pop. What just... What was...?" is all Baby-bull could manage as he just kind of stares at the remaining cows in the herd. The remaining herd. Hot, 'cause of what they must of saw, and bothered, 'cause of wut they missed.

Papa-bull raises his head, with a well-fed and satisfied smile. He grins and says, "Son, in this life, you may see some things good folks just wouldn't believe..." as they stand up and begin their walk on down from all that sweet, green grass at the top that knoll...

No, that wasn't no Guernsey. No siree. Nope. 

That must of been a Belgian Blue.

G D F 8

(Okay, maybe I shouldn't quit my day jobs)

"What did you do to that thing? It looks like Arnold."

"Basically a [sex] machine... absolutely."


  1. Ah, being a STUD!!
    It's a compliment any man would take happily...especially from a woman. I could do worse than coming back as a well paid sex machine....we'll paid owner would be getting the cash of course :)

    1. Can't say it couldn't happen.

      There's got to be a way to tell the joke so that it gets at least a few chuckles from the vaquero crowd. Maybe a card with Pa ans Son Guernsey on one side and Blue on the other. Might test it out this summer while working on my rope trick.

  2. I wonder if any of that altering gets passed on during consumption and what are the repercussions from it. Is it like eating a poppy seed muffin? Will I get a positive result from eating a nice big rare genetically and steroid altered steak?

    They are doing all of this in the name of feeding more people, what about the weird shit like this

    1. Hmmm... if they put that kind of meat in school lunches in California, it might off-set bowl of Zoloft most kids have in the morning.

      Soon, everyone may look like, walk like, and talk like Arnold. He'll be back. One way or another.

      Tiny URL... "Ewe... what a lamb."